Guest Post Who Am I by Ruth Stone

 

WHO Am I?

Have you ever asked yourself this question? Who am I? Or, like me, during difficult times, have you ever uttered to yourself, “I don’t even recognize myself right now.” These thoughts have come to me a lot lately as I have been navigating the world of loss, grief, and change. Change that I didn’t want, didn’t ask for, yet has come into my life, disrupting my view of everything, including myself.  

We are obviously defined a great deal by our human experiences on this planet. We are many things: daughter, sister, wife, mother, friend, employee, professional this or that (fill in the blank any way you want!). We can add other titles: I am chef, maid, chauffeur, scheduler, shopper, nurse, caregiver, fixer…the list goes on and on. If you were to sit down and make a list of all of the roles you have played during your lifetime, I think you would be amazed at how long the list would be. Then, if you wrote down all of the people you have touched with your life, you would be doubly amazed at the impact you have had on others.

We know, first of all, from Psalm 139, that God created our “inmost being”. We were “knit together in our Mother’s womb” and were “fearfully and wonderfully made”. All the days of our lives were ordained in His book. This means that we were God’s creation from the very beginning, and that he had a plan for our lives before we were even born. If you’re like me, life has been a mix of living out God’s plan and living out my own plan instead, but He has never left me. He is still there because God never wavers in his love for us.

I am fascinated whenever I see pictures of Michelangelo’s magnificent painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel. 

 I recently read a story that the famous Italian painter and architect, Raphael, designed tapestries that originally hung on the walls of the Sistine Chapel which, in the opinion of some, rival or even surpass the magnificence of Michelangelo’s painting. His “Acts of the Apostles” tapestries depict scenes in the lives of the Apostles of Jesus. According to the article, the tapestries were woven using extraordinary silver and gold thread and colored wool and silks. It is believed that the cost of the tapestries might have been 5 times that of Michelangelo’s painting.  

Imagine if we could commission someone to create tapestries depicting the stories of our lives. Our tapestries would contain all the parts and pieces of our lives that have made us who we are. For most of us, our tapestries would include some events and times that were hard, either from our own doing or the doing of others. For others, they would show periods of great stress, loss and grief. But our tapestries would also be full of the many good things in our lives, including the people whose lives we have touched or who have touched our lives in very meaningful ways. The silver and gold threads might represent the rich life experiences we have had. The wool and silk, both strong and resilient fabrics, might represent the strength and character we have developed through those life experiences. Our tapestries would be beautiful illustrations of the women that God created us to be.

Our tapestries, though, would be unfinished works. When finished, what will they show about us? In Galatians 5:16 we are commanded to live by the Spirit. Verse 22 says that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. What if we commit ourselves to God and ask Him to show us how to live our lives so that the rest of our tapestries demonstrate each of these qualities? Is this an attainable goal? Absolutely, as long as we commit our way to the Lord and leave the results up to Him.